I feel ambiguous

April 20, 2020

I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about this Babylon Bee article: America Prepares For Plagues 2 Through 10

The U.S. is still reeling from COVID-19, but people feel they’ve recovered enough that it might be time to finally start plagues two through ten.

“Everyone is really hardening their hearts — especially before going on Twitter,” says plague analyst Roderick Jordan. “And everyone has learned absolutely nothing. It’s probably a good time to begin on the next of God’s plagues.”

President Trump agreed. “I could do like twenty plagues,” Trump told the press at one of his daily briefings, “and I’m never going to change my ways.” Trump then took out his phone. “See? I’m sending an inappropriate tweet right now. I will never learn and I will never stop no matter what happens.”

It’s unclear what the next plague will be, but it is quite certain that everyone will complain about it but not change their ways at all until at least eight more plagues after that. Some wish, though, that God would be more specific on what wickedness they’re being punished for — as there is a lot of wickedness going on — so people know exactly which one to defiantly not stop doing.

I hope at least some of us have learned things and are changing for the better. You don’t see much evidence of that happening, though.

2020 so far

April 13, 2020

  • Plague
  • Locusts
  • Earthquakes
  • Volcanos
  • Tornados

I’d ask what’s next, but I don’t think I want to know.

Satire?

April 8, 2020

Bernie Sanders Drops Out As Campaign Goals Of Locking Everyone Up, Destroying Economy Already Achieved

As the coronavirus panic has already accomplished the aims of his socialistic policies, Sanders realized the country didn’t need his public service anymore. Unemployment has skyrocketed, grocery stores have empty shelves, and everyone is confined to their homes on penalty of arrest. This “idyllic paradise” is exactly what Sanders wanted in the first place, so he says he can leave the race satisfied that his vision has been achieved.

Two recent stories

March 30, 2020

If you haven’t lived in Texas, you might not be familiar with H-E-B grocery stores. (Chris worked at H-E-B while in High School and up until his mission.) They apparently were prepared for COVID-19: Inside the Story of How H-E-B Planned for the Pandemic. The last time I went to H-E-B (last week; the pharmacy I use for my prescriptions is there) they had hand sanitizer dispensers at the single entrance they had open.

Also, R.I.P. Sen. Tom Coburn.

Tom Coburn, the 72-year-old physician and former Oklahoma senator who passed away Saturday, battled the prostate cancer that felled him the same way he battled big spenders and spineless politicians in Washington: with cheerful, unrelenting persistence.

If you’re ever seriously ill, Coburn’s life is itself an inspiration. He contracted melanoma when he was 28 and working as manager of his family’s optical-lens factory. He was given only a 20 percent chance of living. He beat the melanoma, and his struggle convinced him to enter medical school and become a doctor. Years later, he contracted colon cancer and conquered that, too. In 2008, he had brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumor.

Then in 2013, he was told he had a rare form of prostate cancer, one that only 1 in 100,000 prostate-cancer patients suffer from. While the disease convinced him to retire from the Senate in early 2015, he remained optimistic. He fought the disease the way a general plans a battle and told The Oklahoman that if his treatment was effective he would live for another “five or 10 years.” He ended up lasting almost seven.

In between his illnesses, Tom Coburn built a successful medical practice that made him the largest employer in his hometown of Muskogee, Okla. He delivered more than 4,000 babies during his career. And at age 46, he ran for Congress in a solidly Democratic district that hadn’t elected a Republican in 73 years. He continued to deliver babies while in the House, giving up only after the Senate Ethics Committee ruled that such outside work was banned.

 

More spring flowers

March 28, 2020

more_flowers

I can relate

March 26, 2020

America’s new paper of record, the Babylon Bee: Man Begs Internet To Stop Making Him Defend Trump

If this keeps up, Pavone says he may just resign himself to becoming a Trump supporter. “He’s the worst option except for everyone else.”

Spring

March 19, 2020

I believe Spring has arrived in Central Texas.

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